Drew Sidora and her husband Ralph Pittman are committed to working on their marital issues.
On Sunday's The Real Housewives of Atlanta, the pair had their first session with their new couple's counselor, Love McPherson, which came after Ralph told Drew on the Dec. 20 episode that he was "definitely down with counseling."
"Ralph and I have tried couple's counseling a time or two or three or a dozen, I've lost track. But after our huge blowup on our anniversary, which was probably the biggest argument we've ever had in our marriage, we know we have serious problems that we really need to commit to working out and fixing — quickly," she said to cameras, noting their six-year anniversary dinner two weeks prior, which ended with Drew in tears.
Since the current season of RHOA premiered, the Step Up actress, 35, has been open about the state of her marriage, previously admitting: "We've got to get our act together for the sake of our kids and for our marriage if we want this thing to last."
Drew is mom to son Josiah, 9, from a previous relationship, and shares son Machai David, 5, and daughter Aniya, 2, with Ralph.
Sitting outside their home for the counseling session — and all wearing face masks amid the ongoing coronavirus pandemic — Love first asked the couple to list "two or three goals" and "the things that are most pressing" for their relationship.
Drew began by first listing "transparency," which she followed by mentioning her firstborn son, Josiah. "Genuine love for Josiah, my 9-year-old," she continued, and followed it with "more peace, less anger."
After mentioning her eldest son, Love asked Drew what "genuine love" would look like.
"I mean, I understand there's a biological difference, but I guess not just showing him how to be a man, but actually giving him that love. Like, showing him it's okay to hug, it's okay to nurture," Drew said about her husband's parenting. "You know, giving him that emotional love."
In a confessional, Drew explained that Josiah was 3 years old when she and Ralph first met, and "Ralph took my heart because he really loved my son. But it's very much that tough love. Because Josiah's super sensitive, I do not want Josiah to ever feel that the love that Ralph is showing him is different than his biological children."
As for transparency in her marriage, Drew told Love that she would like to know "if you're going somewhere, you know, being able to just share and say, 'Hey, I'm going to the store, I'm going to work out. I'm going to Tampa,' " she continued, referencing Ralph's multi-day trip to Florida, which he didn't tell Drew about in advance. "Just allowing me to know what you're doing, where your mind is."
Pivoting to Ralph, Love then asked what his goals were that he felt needed to happen in their marriage.
"Respect and sex," he said, as Love asked what his "preferred frequency" was for having intimate time with Drew. "Minimum three times a week and I think that's really, truly, very, very conservative."
"Respect would be someone not emasculating me," said Ralph, who accused Drew of trying to treat him "like her mom treated her dad. And that's never going to work with me."
When Love asked how much truth there was to Ralph's statement about Drew treating him the way her mother treated her father, the actress denied it. "That's not true," said Drew. "I mean, I allow him to be the man that he is. You know, I see who Ralph is, I know he's not my dad. And I've had to let go of those expectations."
After smiling throughout her explanation, Ralph proceeded to lightly touch Drew's shoulder and said, "Okay."
"What was that?" she asked, as Ralph said it looked as though she was about to cry. "That wasn't even real," said Drew.
Though Ralph wanted to "carry on," Drew pointed out that he was "laughing."
"It just looked like you're about to cry," he told her.
First acknowledging Drew's emotions, Love then asked Ralph about his childhood history. "My past, I grew up in a single-family household. My father left at a really early age, and so I found myself pretty much having to assume the role of the man of the house, I should say. My mom, she wasn't as affectionate to us," he said.
He revealed that during his senior year of high school, he got to a place where he "said, 'You know what, mom? If you don't appreciate my help and my support, then I'm gonna go and live with my father and I'll see how you fend for yourself.' And I did that. And my mom ended up getting evicted. So we were homeless during my senior year. My father had lost his job at the time. It was nothing but really beer in the refrigerator, and so it was a really hurtful time."
Still, that season was "the first time I heard my mom say, 'I'm sorry,' " Ralph recalled.
Reviewing her notes, Love connected that Drew wanted transparency and for Ralph not to leave, and "the only time he got an apology" from his mom was "when he left."
For Drew, she said she wanted to give Ralph the love that he didn't have, but she felt that she was "paying for everything his mom did. And so if he's not going to own that and accept that, and go seek healing in that, I don't know what else to do."
She felt that she was "owning everything and I'm taking on responsibility." Beginning to cry, Drew also revealed that she sought her own counseling "because I have to be in a mentally strong place to be that support" to her husband. Furthermore, Drew said Ralph is "never working on himself." As Love reminded Drew that they were just beginning the process, Drew told her that the couple actually "started this process six years ago. We were always in counseling."
Advising them to not "go back and relive the past," Love said that if they "can commit to believe in the future, then you won't grieve the past so hard."
But wiping tears from her eyes, Drew admitted, "I am grieving."
Upon seeing Drew cry, Love asked Ralph what he felt he wanted to do. "That's right, yes, let him cover you," Love said as Ralph embraced Drew and she leaned into his arm. Apologizing, Frank said, "I'm sorry, Drew. My entire goal is never to hurt you. My goal is to try to make sure to show you more support and love."
Speaking to cameras, Drew disclosed that while she wanted "to believe that" Frank's apology was "sincere," at "this point he's apologized to me so much that I feel like the apology needs to come with some work to really ensur[e] that we don't go through it again."
Hopeful, "this is just stage one," Love told the couple, adding, "The main thing that I want you to do is do the work."
While the pair committed to working on their issues, addressing them was put on "the back burner" due to the sudden death of Ralph's father.
"We got the call that Ralph's father had had a heart attack," Drew said later in the episode. "Unfortunately, he did pass away, so we're gonna head down to North Carolina for services. And I know it's going to be tough for Ralph, because his dad was everything to him."
Opening up about his dad's death to Drew, Ralph admitted: "I think it makes me just cherish life a little differently. Tomorrow's not promised. I can't expect you to do certain things. You know, I gotta love you for you. And we gotta figure out a way how to grow together."
Said Drew: "Ralph's father passing have put our issues on the back burner," she told cameras. "I really just want to make sure that we don't fight anymore because you don't know when your loved one's going to take their last breath."
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays (8 p.m. ET) on Bravo.
Source: Read Full Article