Celebrities

Don’t worry everybody, Mike Pence is now America’s Coronavirus Czar

Uh, does the Coronavirus turn your skin a gross shade of orange-poop-brown? Because I think Donny J. Smallhands might be a corona-carrier. These are photos from last night’s White House briefing on the Coronavirus, which has already come to America, like everyone knew it would. There’s so much information and misinformation about Corona and clearly, I don’t know what to say about it because I am quite worried too. I feel like it’s just a particularly deadly flu with a longer incubation period which is even more contagious. That’s how I’ve started to think about it.

I feel like if Smallhands described it that way, perhaps he might even calm down the hysteria. But he didn’t. He made broad denials about how Corona wouldn’t do anything and in any case, America is completely prepared and to show how prepared we are, he put Mike Pence in charge as the Coronavirus Czar. None of this makes me feel better.

Did you know that when Pence was governor of Indiana, he enabled one of the worst HIV outbreaks in the state’s history when he slashed all of the HIV-prevention funding from the state’s budget? That’s probably what he’ll do as Coronavirus Czar too – slash funding for treatment and hospitals and encourage people to pray away the Coronavirus. Oh God.

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) February 26, 2020

— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) February 27, 2020

— andy lassner (@andylassner) February 27, 2020

Putting a guy in charge of a deadly major pandemic who doesn’t believe in science and thinks smoking doesn’t cause cancer is…well…NOT A GREAT IDEA.

Radical idea: put someone qualified in charge. Take this seriously.

— Chris Murphy (@ChrisMurphyCT) February 27, 2020

— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) February 27, 2020

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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